How to Get Respect and Love from Your Children
by: Anandrahi
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Not getting the respect of children is one of the major family problems of modern world. In their pursuit to a bright career parents are actually forgetting the art of nurturing children in a healthy way. You will often find parents complaining about the disobedience. Most of the married children rarely respect their parents. They feel that parents are just there to snatch their marital bliss. Therefore they want to live alone. They are unable to give love and respect to their parents. Actually the ball is in parents’ court and they must know how to get the love and respect of their children. Here are some tips:
1. Teach Them to Live a Hard Life
Robert A. Heinlein said: Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy. Today most of the parents make this mistake. They try their best to provide all the facilities and luxuries to their children consequently they make them handicapped who always want to depend on their parents. In future if they don’t get from their parents what they have gone habitual to they rebel or disobey. From a very early age parents should teach their children the value of hard life and train them for it too.
2. Recognize Their Unique Talent
Every person has a unique talent which can be blossomed to a big success in case it is recognized and nurtured. If parents can do it they will do the biggest task of their life to help their children. By observing the activities of a child carefully parents are mostly able to recognize their unique talent. They can also talk to the teacher about it. Intelligent teachers can easily understand the abilities of their students.
3. Talk to Your Children
The best source of communication between a parent and a child is talking. Talk to them often and on various subjects. It will help them to mature psychologically. They can also clear their doubts. Especially small children are very fond of talking to parents. It helps them grown in a healthy and confident way. I studies many families and found that where there was no talking environment children mostly suffered from lack of confidence.
4. Understand Their Problems
Every child has some problems. If you are careful to their problems and help your child to solve it they will respect you more and understand your problems too. If parents make them like a bulldozer who is always pushing without understanding the relevance of anything the children won’t be able to develop any love for them. If there problems are understood and solved the bond between the two generations become strong and inseparable.
5. Take Care of Their Needs
Most of the parents think that they provide for almost every need of their children. It is their angle of thinking. They won’t be able to patch the gap till they understand from the view point of their children. Children have many needs which the parents can’t sometimes imagine. They should observe their children carefully and even ask them about their needs.
6. Become a Friend
The world is moving fast, competition is crushing and children need the help of their parents almost at every step. They want their parents to be their best friends who can understand their feelings and talk to them like friends. Children have a deep desire to express freely. In case parents are not ready to become friends children find friends outside. Those friends may be even bad and spoil the children.
7. Become a Guide
Your children may be intelligent but they are inexperienced and need your guidance so often. If parents are able to provide wise guidance children feel much relaxed. They know their parents can guide them through the tides of life with their knowledge and experience. It invokes their confidence that their career will be bright.
8. Keep a Fear Too
Although it is good to be great friends of your children parents must also be ready to wield a stick of toughness if needed. There are children who are unable to move ahead or keep discipline till they are pushed or have a fear of parents. It is never necessary to beat them or punish them hard by any other method. Simple punishments now and then and an attitude of determination can infuse a fear in children to help them make a better career.
9. Spare the Rod
Many parents still agree to this old proverb: spare the rod and spoil a child. Even animals can understand the language of love and care so why can’t the children who are educated and wise. Any form of physical punished or beating may leave permanent scars on the psychology of the children. It will definitely dampen their enthusiasm for learning. Children who are beaten severely either become rebellion or develop psychological diseases. And fear created by a rod is often counter-productive.
10. Take Them for Outing
Now and then take your children to restaurants, movies, picnics, worth-seeing places. It will keep them relaxed and enthusiastic. They will gain general knowledge as well as new visions for their future and career.
11. Play with Them
Playing with children can be the best method to create a good rapport between children and parents. Play with them both outdoor and indoor games. It also develops a spirit of cooperation.
12. You Must Have Something to Give
It is practical approach to life. In spite of heading toward idealism the need of a practical approach to life must be understood. Many parents invest so much in the development of their children that they are left with almost nothing when the children are grown-up and well-settled in life. When parents have nothing to give they may lose the respect of their children. Many parents are found criticizing their children saying that they gave everything to their children and now in old age they are being neglected. A human is appreciated in life for what he can give to the society or how much he is useful.
13. Don’t Expect Too Much
Expectations often cause heart-burn. Don’t expect anything from anybody including your children. You will be happier in life. While nurturing their children most of the parents make the mistake of expecting. ‘We are doing everything for them, they will also look after us well in old age’ they think. When expectations are not fulfilled, which is often the case, they are broken. They live a frustrated life and die earlier.
14. You Must Achieve Too
Never thing that you have achieved enough in life and now it is your children’s turn to achieve. In human relations you are measured with your usefulness to others. The more you learn and achieve the more you will be loved by others. So always maintain keep learning new things till your death. Continue achieving new mile stones in life in the fields of your interest. There shouldn’t be any retirement for your. A retired life is as bad as no life.
15. Save Money for Old Age
Your children will love you more if save money regularly especially for your old age. Your bank balance adds value to your life. As soon as you lose it you lose your attraction. And such old people are kept aside carelessly in a state of neglect like unattractive house furniture. Money has power and power wields influence getting love and respect for you from your children.
16. Keep Yourself Fit and Relaxed
Age-old wisdom ‘health is wealth’ has real value. Parents who are often unhealthy become a burden for the children. If they have to spend a lot of time in caring for their parents they are unable to enjoy life. Healthy parents are often a good help and companion thus they are also loved more. There for go for walk, do exercise and meditation to keep yourself physically fit and relaxed.
17. Move in the Society
Man is a social animal so never give this habit. Join societies, clubs or cultural associations. Visit religious places regularly. Meet relatives and friends. With it you will become active as well as gain respect. Good social relations always endear us to our family more. We become influential and get more respect every where.
18. Buy Gifts for Your Children
Get a habit of buying gifts for your children, their wives and your grand children too. Gifts always strengthen the emotional bonds among the persons either in the family or in the society.
19. Treat Your Daughter-in-laws Like Your Daughters
Many parents misbehave with their daughter-in-laws and expect love from their sons. It is not practical. Love your daughter-in-laws like you love your daughters. And there will also a change in the attitude of your sons too. You can understand why.
20. Don’t Blast Your Horns Please
Whatever happens, whatever you get in return always keep your emotions under control. Blasting your emotions to get attention or to make your children realize their mistakes is a foolish step. In old age parents often resort to it just to lose respect and love of their children more and more. Be calm and use wisdom instead of anger.
21. Embrace Them and Bless Them
It is the best and free gift you can give to your children. Children always feel safe in your arms. They need your blessings at various stages of life. It has been found in various researches on human relations that if children are often hugged in loving way by the parents they grow more confident, cordial and respective. So what are you looking for? Start it from today.
Author:
Anandrahi
Article Source:
Anandrahi.com
Smart Way to Personal Development
About the Author
Anandrahi is a famous writer and educationist of international fame. He has trained thousands of persons in Communication Skills, Personality Development and Art of Successful Life. He has written hundreds of articles and many best-selling books.
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